Clean-Up Batter
In her column, Parenting Solo, Angela Scott
will share her journey of balancing parenting duties, work and downtime
activities, while keeping up with her two daughters, Shani (8) and
Samara (7). Parenting Solo will take you inside the home, mind, heart
and soul of this working single mom who’s found the role as
a single parent to be a rewarding mix of blessings and blues. “It’s
an incredible blessing that calls for supernatural resources,”
she says. Angela invites you to write to her at shaniadura@netzero.net.
In baseball, the main job of the “clean-up
batter” is to fix what went wrong during his team’s time
at bat. Now, consider the relationship between that batter and the
single parent.
It’s the single mom who nurtures her broken-hearted son longing
to see his dad. It’s the single dad who balances a budget, plays
parent taxi and finds respite, while looking for tips on raising a
‘tween girl.
It’s the single parent who picks up the pieces in a failed relationship.
Today’s single parent is a true multi-task craftsperson. His
or her ultimate mission is to provide healing in the home. Often,
the burden of being the peacekeeper takes its toll on parents who’ve
yet made closure from “the breakup.” Consequently, there’s
a rush to heal and resume an “ordinary” life in a home
where one parent is now MIA. Adjusting and coping is difficult for
everyone, especially a child whose emotions are overlooked during
the process of “moving forward.”
In my quest to obtain parenting advice for single parents such as
myself; I interviewed E.R. Reid, a motivational speaker and author
of "The
Proverbs 31 Woman," "What Does Your Produce Look Like?
How To Live A Purposeful Life" and "The Life Area Planner
and Journal." Ms. Reid, a divorced mom of two recently released
a powerful book entitled, "STOP
My Childhood From Drowning! 39 Lessons From a Child Experiencing Divorce."
For Reid, writing about various approaches to help guide children
through divorce helped her to understand and interpret the concerns
of children coping with divorce. Written in the first-person voice
of a child, readers see the many emotions children experience growing
up with divorced parents. Reid says that because her children were
under 3 when she first divorced, no “real” discussions
about divorce took place. Instead, Reid’s 3 year-old son would
aimlessly wander around the house looking for his dad.
“Eric just tried to process it all. I could see him try to think
about it, and then months later, he would come back to me for more
answers,” Reid explains. She says her son was attempting to
figure out why his father was no longer around. “It’s
a lot for kids to process, and I wanted to keep it positive.”
Reid says that because children are naturally resilient, they adjust
to anything. However, the issue is how kids adjust. Since kids mature
at different ages and stages, it’s important that parents keep
a close watch on how their kids are adjusting to changes in the home.
There are basic signs for determining how your child is coping:
• Unusual disobedience – Kids no longer
appear to be listening nor following instructions.
• Disinterest in activities - Tweens and Teens
are now antisocial and prefer to lounge on the coach and eat, rather
than hang around their peers.
• Abnormal anger – Children become unusually
angry or frustrated.
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