FLYING HIGHs and Lows
by Kamyra L. Harding

In her column MY FINAL FRONTIER Kamyra Harding uses humor and personal experience to explore parenting and family from a womanist perspective. Kamyra has a fifteen year track record of service in not-for-profit management and administration. She has worked with a variety of organizations including the United Nations Association of the USA and the American Red Cross in Greater New York. Kamrya resides in New York City with her husband and son.


Traveling provides many learning opportunities. BC (before child) I traveled for work and pleasure without hesitation. After having a baby I had no desire to leave my neighborhood. During our son's second summer we received an amazing vacation offer. The only problem was we had to fly. We accepted the invitation. It was an opportunity to confront my fear of being the obnoxious family with the unruly child.

Our son has had a massive impact on our travel style. BC we toted only carry-on luggage. Now carry-ons hold car seat, toys, snacks, emergency clothes, portable DVD player and anything else that hints at a bearable trip. All this gear hasn't assuaged my fear. Nor has it prevented me from getting into silly travel scenarios.

Let's face it. Current airport security routines do not allow for wee ones. I understand the need for precautions. I witnessed the World Trade Center September 11th tragedy. However, all rules do not apply to every traveler. Recently I was held at a check point for refusing to release my toddler. I realize two adults can not dance through a screening gate holding hands. However, there is no public arena where I'll physically separate from my baby. Apparently the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) manual does not address barely ambulatory children. Nor are TSA employees empowered to improvise. We confirmed that as I defiantly clutched my crying child until a supervisor was summoned to mediate the situation. Eventually we were cleared through security and allowed to continue our journey.

As we approached the gate, I noticed passengers wincing at us. Each was hoping we would sit as far away from him/her as possible. I understand. We've all witnessed kiddie meltdowns on airplanes. But instead of jinxing flights, let's try a new approach. Positive thoughts may stave off a hysterical performance. Don't worry. Channel serenity to the rug rats. Or, at least cross your fingers and whisper, "Pretty please!"

I'll admit it. Sometimes no matter how prepared parents are a child will pick flight time to get in touch with its inner Neanderthal. Recently, airplane gremlins body snatched my son. Video of that trip should be a teen pregnancy deterrent program tool. My husband and I were horrified. Yet, we considered it a parental right of passage. The worst part wasn't our son's episode. It was a fellow passenger verbally assaulting me about our kid's behavior. Yes. The man probably was having a bad day; so was the rest of the cabin -- courtesy of our cherub. Our son's antics were neither indicators of our parenting skills nor his future success. It was just his turn. Now that we've survived being the obnoxious family, I'm ready for more. Beware. We may be on the next plane you ride.

Public transportation is an equalizer. On it we're a family of strangers; stuck together no matter our social status. Thank you to carrier crews who cheerfully assist weary parents. Bless all who help us cart belongings and entertain our little ones. You make this big world a community. Thank you for being civil.

The next time you see a family with young children enter a flight gate, don't wince. Surround them with all of the positive energy you can muster. If that doesn't work, remember: the plane will land. Happy trails.

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NOTE: Also read about life through the eyes of Kamyra's son, "Garnet Paul Harding", as interpreted by Kamrya: Garnet's Journal: Up, Up and Away!

January 6, 2006