It's All About Time
Giving the gift of time and spiritual nurturing through stay-at-home parenting

by Penny Powell

In her column, Momma’s Home, Penny Powell will share her journey of being a stay-at-home mom to 8-year-old, Caleb, son of her and her husband, Collin. Momma's Home will take you inside the home, mind, heart and soul of this stay-at-home mother who believes that her opportunity to be an at-home parent is one of her greatest motherhood blessings. "It's an invaluable way to celebrate my son's life -- every day," she says. Penny invites you to write to her at Momtoaboy@aol.com.



In an article I wrote a few years ago about my brother's role at that time of a single parent to two young daughters, I referenced comments that Alvin T. Poussaint made in Bill Cosby's book, Fatherhood. Again, I reflect upon Poussaint's words as I write about another dedicated father, Derek Felton, who is not a single father as my brother was, but rather a stay/work-at-home dad.

In Fatherhood, Poussaint says, "The father's importance in rearing children and his ability to manage families, until quite recently, was not only downplayed but often totally neglected by child-care experts...The father's role was prescribed to be more ethereal and remote from the children." However, today, the role of the father has changed dramatically in many households, worldwide. US Census Bureau statistics report that there are at least 3 million stay-at-home fathers in the US with numbers steadily increasing. According to a 1999 survey conducted in the UK by the Office of National Statistics, at least 99,000 dads are raising their children there on a full-time basis which has more than doubled since 1992.

Although fathers have had a reputation over the years for primarily providing for their families, many of my childhood memories, over 30 years ago, include thoughts of my daddy joyfully cooking delicious dinners on a daily basis as well as assisting my mom with other household chores even though he worked outside the home -- as did my mom! They were equal partners in work both out and inside the home, including spending quality time with my brother, sister and me.

Quality time is exactly what work/stay at-home father Derek Felton is committed to giving his 1-year-old son, Caleb, and soon-to-be-born son, Joshua. He and wife, Chasidy, both in the graphic design business, operate their company, Red Sea Creative, from their Hampton, VA, home. Although one of Derek's main motives for becoming a work-from-home dad was to expand his family business, he knew it would keep him centered in his son's life, too. It wasn't his goal to simply work at home while leaving Chasidy to tend to their son's needs. Derek is as much a part of the child-rearing side of the household as his wife. Life is pretty much 50/50 in the Felton household.

In the middle of his dual career of work-at-home father and stay-at-home dad, Derek managed to answer a few questions for CelebratingChildren.com:!

CelebratingChildren.com: How long have you been an at-home dad?

Derek: Since August of 2001.

CC: List some of your greatest joys being at home with your son each day?

Derek: I enjoy being able to see him develop. Not missing those milestones like new words (although he has only said a few), throwing a ball, trying to "read" a book, etc. I also enjoy the fact that I know him very well -- his schedule, his habits. I can take him to his doctor visits, the play place, etc. I really feel like an involved parent.

CC: List some of your challenges?

Derek: It's difficult trying to work with our business when Caleb wants my attention, too. Quite often it's difficult to work in short spurts. Usually, when you're working and the ball is rolling, you don't want to stop and loose your rhythm or inspiration, but often during those times Caleb wants attention and it becomes difficult to work effectively and efficiently. Also, when the phone rings in the office, we have to quickly take Caleb out of the room while one of us answers it.

CC: How do you feel your son is benefiting the most by you being at home as opposed to having to work outside the home for an 8-hour day?

Derek: He really knows that his daddy loves and cares for him. Chasidy even says he's a daddy's boy. He seems more clingy and attached to me than Chasidy at times.

CC: How do you and your wife balance/split your parenting and work responsibilities?

Derek: We usually trade off. I will normally have Caleb in the morning. She usually takes over in the afternoon. It is a difficult balance, especially when we are really busy with deadlines for the business. With Joshua coming, we are looking to place Caleb in a part-time day care to help some.

CC: Was it a major transition for you to go from working outside the home to working inside the home on a full-time basis -- with a young son at home?

Derek: It was a big transition but not a difficult one. I enjoy working from home. I enjoy the flexibility of setting my own schedule. Taking Caleb to the doctor or play group doesn't take any special juggling of schedules. The only major obstacle of working from home is disciplining yourself into work time and free time. It becomes even more difficult when Caleb wants to have play time when I really need to be concentrating on finishing an assignment for a client.

CC: Give a little insight into a typical day for you? How do you anticipate this changing once the baby arrives?

Derek: I wake up between 8 and 9a.m., shower, read my Bible and then start working. Often I won't eat to save time and instead, wait until Caleb wakes up around 10 or 11 and eat while I feed him. Around 12 Chasidy usually takes over with Caleb while I do more work. I usually take a break between 2 and 3 to eat lunch and spend some time with Caleb. Caleb usually takes a nap around 4 or 5, so while he's napping we are usually both working. He wakes up from his nap around 7 and we usually eat dinner around 7 or 8. We usually have family time from around 8 to Caleb's bedtime around 9 or 10. After Caleb's in bed, we usually work another hour or 2 on the business. Once Joshua is born, I'm sure I will have less time for the business. I will probably be getting up earlier, but probably looking for a nap sometime during the day. Our schedule will probably be a little less predictable with Caleb adjusting to the new baby and probably wanting more attention at times....the baby will have to get on a schedule, but that will probably take a little time.

Chasidy thoroughly enjoys and appreciates the blessing of this complete partnership with her husband. With his continuous help, she's grateful that she's able to give her body the rest it needs (especially during her second pregnancy). She says the full-time help makes cooking everyday and keeping the house clean less of a challenge for her.

The Felton's, both 28 years old, met during their Graphic Design studies at Hampton University. "Those two are awesome," says former coworker, Mavis Carr, city site manager at HRtide.com.

Learn more about the Felton's and their business at www.redseacreative.com.


Penny Powell is a freelance writer from Bermuda who currently resides in Florida with her husband, Collin, and their 6-year-old son, Caleb. Since becoming a mother, Penny writes primarily about parenting and has also written a children's book that she hopes to have published soon.


July 1, 2002