Motherhood Voices Rise Up And Sing (continued)



Penny Powell: What are your strengths as a mother? Your weaknesses?

Cecelie Berry: I believe that I am strong in communicating with my kids. We discuss almost everything that is age-appropriate, and they are open with me as well. We discuss race, sex, politics, family dynamics -- almost everything that was -- in my day -- considered taboo or "not children's business." But I do draw the line. I remember when my oldest son was in first grade he asked me to tell him what a prostitute was. I simply refused to do it. I didn't think he was old enough to comprehend that. I just told him it was a bad, insulting word and he wasn't to use it. Now he is 12 and he knows what it means.

Sometimes, when I'm stressed, I let the children have too many sweets and I don't know if I have taught them the value of money as well as I'd like. I pay them for chores that they should do for free. I could do much better on getting them to pick up after themselves, too -- a constant struggle! And, as they get older, I probably let them negotiate with me too much. My parents were very strict and "no" meant "end of discussion." Sometimes I listen to them, and I realize they are really right. So then they think I can always be persuaded to see things their way and it's harder for me to feel that I am in control.

Penny Powell: Do you have a book-signing schedule in place as yet?

Cecelie Berry: No. But I'll be sure to tell readers when I do.

Penny Powell: Will your book be available in all major bookstores?

Cecelie Berry: I believe so. It is also available on several different web sites.

Penny Powell: Many husbands/children will be looking for the perfect gift for their wives/mothers this Mother's Day and beyond. Please tell them how your book will positively affect their household if they opt to purchase it as a gift.

Cecelie Berry: After reading even a chapter or two of Rise Up Singing, I always feel blessed by how lucky I am to be a mother, by what marvelous times we live in as African-Americans that we can celebrate our successes, share our problems and "meet" in an intellectual, literate community that is growing by leaps and bounds. I feel proud of myself, my children and my community. And I will honestly say that I feel more thoughtful about what I can do to reach out to other black women, to be more supportive and less judgmental and competitive. I think this positive attitude makes me a more loving partner and a mother who can encourage the children as they struggle to negotiate the peer pressures that will follow them their entire lives. I think the children are more accepting; they see what I believe: that we all have a valuable story and a meaningful place in this world.

But be sure to give your Mom some quiet time to read if you want to see these positive benefits -- and not just on Mother's Day!

Penny Powell: Are there any additional comments you'd like to share?

Cecelie Berry: I come from a family which expected a great deal of me and I have tried to live up to my parents' expectations and make them proud. So I spent the first thirty years of my life pursuing my goals: travel, education, a good job and marriage. Then when I had my children I had to learn the meaning of sacrifice. It was tough. But my life is more meaningful now than ever before. I am more patient and self-accepting than when I was trying so hard to be a super-achiever. I am a thousand times happier knowing that I am able to devote myself to the needs of others and eke out some room for myself. I think this is what motherhood is supposed to teach us. In a new way, we learn that we count, not because of what laurels we can earn, but because we can help those in our families and, by extension, our community, to live with joy, meaning and integrity.



Penny Powell is a freelance writer from Bermuda who resides in Florida with her husband, Collin, and their 8-year-old son, Caleb. Penny primarily writes about parenting and is Senior Editor for MommyToo.com, a web site for at-home and home schooling mothers of color.




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May 7, 2004