Pampering for Spiritual, Emotional and Physical Renewal

by Petrina Burnham

Are you stressed out, depleted, overworked or overextended from juggling all of the responsibilities in your life such as family, job, friends, church and community activities? Debrena Jackson Gandy in her book Sacred Pampering Principles, An African-American Woman's Guide to Self-Care and Inner Renewal, urges African-American women to integrate sacred pampering into their daily lives to bring them more joy, peace and pleasure. Sacred pampering is engaging in self-care and inner renewal to enhance your mind, body and spirit. According to Gandy, such pampering is an act of self-love that creates real and powerful results including weight loss, greater intimacy in personal relationships, more clarity on personal goals and life mission, improvement in outer appearance, improved listening skills, and more joy out of the simple things of life.

Pampering is not new to African-American women. Throughout the ages, African-American women have found creative ways to pamper themselves even when conditions were tough. Your grandma for example, may have soaked her feet in epsom salt after a long day. Nevertheless, many African-American woman are victims of what Gandy calls the Strong Black Woman (SBW) Syndrome. According to Gandy, the SBW syndrome is a haunting remnant of the powerful Mammie and Aunt Jemima images that are still anchored deeply in our minds from slavery. As a result of cultural conditioning, it is expected that African-American women will be the nurturer, everlasting arm, and shoulder that everybody else leans on. The SBW constantly gives out love, attention and affection, but does not ask for it in return or appear to need it in return. SBW have a hard time delegating which perpetuates and reinforces the syndrome. Gandy says that too many mothers believe that being the "self sacrificing martyr is honorable." On the contrary, neglect of the mind, body and spirit leaves mothers in a constant state of depletion. Loving care of self empowers mothers to better take care of their children. Gandy has found that pampering makes motherhood less of a struggle. Pampered mothers are more patience and are better listeners.

When Gandy speaks of sacred pampering she is not talking about outside grooming. Sacred pampering is "inside" grooming that refuels and recharges the mind, body and spirit. For an activity to be pampering it must satisfy three criteria: 1) the experience is one in which you are the primary beneficiary; 2) the experience brings you joy and increases you inner spirit; and 3) the experience nurtures you body, mind and spirit. Pampering is an exercise of self-love, self support and self discovery that enhances personal well-being. By focusing on what brings you joy, peace and pleasure you can positively impact your life by improving your self image, love relationships, and interaction with your children. As a result of pampering, Gandy reveals that she has experienced many benefits including weight loss, less drama and crisis, improved listening skills, and improvement in her outer appearance.

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