Penny's SAHM Journal

April 9, 2003

Continued from April 1 -- Interview between myself and Paula Penn-Nabrit, author of Morning by Morning: How We Home-Schooled Our African-American Sons To The Ivy League.

Note: The question I asked Penn-Nabrit about her thoughts on home schooling an only child follows this question:

Penny: How much of the training approach taught through your business, PN&A, did you use in your home-school approach?

Penn-Nabrit: The premise of our consulting business is that the greatest degree of learning occurs in environments of reciprocal trust and respect. We definitely carried this obvious truth into our home-schooling environment. It was important to us that we consciously engaged our children respectfully, and that was a bit more difficult than it might sound. We never forgot that we were the parents with all the attendant responsibilities, but we tried not to let that become an excuse to ignore or dismiss or belittle their views when they were in conflict with our own. It’s one thing to talk about helping children become holistically healthy and independent -- it’s quite another thing to work through that process. As our sons grew and developed in this holistic environment they became more and more comfortable in their ability to challenge us -- about everything; and that’s pretty common. What was less common was our decision to intellectually engage them as we would a client -- rationally and respectfully -- even when we thought their point was “whack!”

Penny: In the final step of this above approach, you state: "The fourth and final goal is that as a result of information being shared, analyzed and discussed, a higher level of conscious awareness of the issues presented will occur." How do you think this affects an only child who is home schooled.....being limited to having only Mom and Dad -- and no peers -- to analyze such information with?

Penn-Nabrit: The process of analysis is probably easier in a small group, but neither intellectual nor spiritual analysis, insight or revelation is contingent upon a specific number of participants. I think every aspect of parenting a single child presents different challenges than what I experienced parenting a small clan, so I’m certain that home schooling a single child would be no exception. Every dimension of home schooling calls for a certain amount of creativity and that would be no less the case here. If I were faced with the challenge of sharing, analyzing and discussing information with a single child, I’d probably look for two things. On the one hand, a single child shouldn’t be made to feel that somehow something’s missing because there’s “just one.” In the process of holistic home schooling, everybody’s a student in one sense or another. So, while Mom and Dad aren’t chronological peers, they are colleagues. Obviously this approach is more difficult with younger children, but it’s a good way to establish a foundation for the future. Plus, we’ve all had those revelatory moments when a young child says something so profound we’ve had to just sit down and think! The other approach I’d consider is looking for other children to participate in the analytical process with the single child. And that other child doesn’t necessarily have to be home-schooled. The next time you plan to take your child to the science museum or the art museum or the theatre, see if there’s not another child in your community or your church who’d like to go -- preferably with that kid’s parent in tow. Plan the outing with the other parent so that it ends early enough to engage the kids in a discussion of the event. It doesn’t have to be a long, drawn out ordeal. Depending on the age of the kids, a couple of well-thought out, Socratic-type questions should be more than enough.

Penny 4/9/03
Momtoaboy@aol.com